adBlockCheck

Recent News

Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
End Of Section
  • More News

Senate Passes Immigration Reform Bill

With 14 Republicans joining Democrats, the Senate passed a sweeping immigration reform bill yesterday, which would provide a 13-year path to citizenship for the nation’s illegal immigrants, though the bill faces strong opposition from House Republicans. What do you think?

  • “The House is going to block it? Whew, for a second there I thought the system was going to function effectively and without gridlock.”

    Vance Causey Fruit Distributor
  • “If this does pass, I can already picture illegal immigrants’ smiling faces the day they finally become legal. And boy, do they look old.”

    Keith Shannon Humidifier Attendant
  • “Wait, so one house passed it, but now another one has to approve it? Jesus, exactly how many legislative chambers are there?”

    Carolyn Badinski Systems Analyst

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close