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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Senate Passes Immigration Reform Bill

With 14 Republicans joining Democrats, the Senate passed a sweeping immigration reform bill yesterday, which would provide a 13-year path to citizenship for the nation’s illegal immigrants, though the bill faces strong opposition from House Republicans. What do you think?

  • “The House is going to block it? Whew, for a second there I thought the system was going to function effectively and without gridlock.”

    Vance Causey Fruit Distributor
  • “If this does pass, I can already picture illegal immigrants’ smiling faces the day they finally become legal. And boy, do they look old.”

    Keith Shannon Humidifier Attendant
  • “Wait, so one house passed it, but now another one has to approve it? Jesus, exactly how many legislative chambers are there?”

    Carolyn Badinski Systems Analyst
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