Senate Passes Massive Food-Safety Bill

In This Section

Vol 46 Issue 48

About SportsDome

Broadcast live continuously throughout the OSN family of networks, SportsDome has been the Onion Sports Network's signature program since the network's launch.

Report: TCU Can Only Enter Big East If They Bring Girls

FORT WORTH, TX—Texas Christian University has been invited to join the Big East athletic conference, an opportunity that would grant them higher visibility and prestige, as long as they "bring some of those hot Texas girls along," Commissi...

Chiefs Accidentally Win Again

SEATTLE—In yet another victorious slip-up that baffled players, coaches, and fans alike, the Chiefs accidentally defeated the Seahawks 42-24 Sunday, inadvertently outplaying their opponent by scoring more touchdowns.

Marriage Handled Amicably

DAVENPORT, IA—Despite the bitter emotional toll it has taken on them, Beth and David Harrigan expressed relief Tuesday that they have been able to handle their 11-year marriage so amicably.

Antimicrobials May Compromise Immune System

Researchers at the University of Michigan School of Public Health found that young people with high levels of triclosan, an antimicrobial agent commonly found in soaps, were at greater risk for allergies.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Sleep

Fun

  • Night Out Consecrated With Opening Exchange Of High-Fives

    CHARLOTTE, NC—Kicking off the evening with their customary expression of excitement and camaraderie, a group of friends reportedly consecrated their night out on the town Friday with a ceremonial opening exchange of high-fives.

Senate Passes Massive Food-Safety Bill

In an effort to prevent food-borne illnesses, the Senate has passed new legislation—the most comprehensive of its kind in 70 years—that would give the Food and Drug Administration more powers of inspection. What do you think?

  • "Government should just get out of the way and let the market decide how many food-borne illnesses people want."

    Phyllis Bryant
    Axe Sharpener
  • "I knew something like this would happen after Schumer chose The Jungle as last month's Senate Book Club selection."

    Tim Girt
    Systems Analyst
  • "Great. Now I'm hungry. Thanks a lot."

    Kyle Trudeau
    Appraiser
Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More