Senator Byrd The Longest-Serving Lawmaker

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Vol 45 Issue 47

Nets Announce Team Is In Re-Demolition Mode

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ—In a continuing effort to destroy their roster and ultimately cause their team's collapse, Nets officials announced Monday that the franchise was entrenched in a long-term re-demolition process.

Several 2009 MLB Awards Clearly Thought Up On The Spot

NEW YORK—A number of players suggested to reporters Monday that, with accolades such as the AL Platinum Baseman Award and the Best Lead Off of the Year Trophy, the Baseball Writers' Association of America was almost certainly making up its year-end honors on the spot.
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  • Child Visiting Ellis Island Sees Where Grandparents Once Toured

    ELLIS ISLAND, NY—Pausing to imagine the throngs of people who must have arrived with them that day back in 1994, 12-year-old Max Bertrand reportedly spent his visit to Ellis Island this afternoon walking around the same immigrant station his grandparents once toured.

Senator Byrd The Longest-Serving Lawmaker

After more than 56 years in office, 92-year-old Sen. Robert C. Byrd (D-WV) has become the longest-serving member of Congress. What do you think?
  • "It's sad that, even today, the Senate's still the only way for a West Virginia boy to get out of the mines."

    Vicki Wiedlin
    Systems Analyst
  • "In 1964 he denies civil rights, then in 2008 he backs Barack Obama. Who knows how he'll feel about black people in 2052?"

    Tom Valentine
    Door Patcher
  • "Who is the shortest-serving member of Congress? I feel like that's the guy who needs the most encouragement."

    Joe Caffey
    Notch Grinder
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