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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.
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Senator Hillary?

Last week, Hillary Clinton said she would give "careful thought" to running for a U.S. Senate seat in New York. What do you think about the prospect of a Senator Clinton?
  • "I don't know... If she wasn't woman enough for Bill, how can she satisfy an entire district?"

    Sanjay Seter Security Guard
  • "As a strong '90s woman, I feel Hillary should definitely run for the Senate. She could totally get back at Bill that way."

    Sasha Higgins Caterer
  • "Hillary can do anything she sets her mind to. Oh, wait. No, she can't—that's Oprah."

    Felicia Griffin Florist
  • "It'd be great. That way, she wouldn't have to stop lying for at least six more years."

    Andrew Robinson Systems Analyst
  • "I'm just not sure Hillary has the drive and ambition necessary for a career in politics."

    Donald Vaught Investment Banker
  • "I would have no moral problems voting for her. After all, I'm pretty sure she never gave oral sex to the president."

    Paul Rice Driving Instructor

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