Serotonin Makes Locusts Swarm

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Vol 45 Issue 09

Paul Harvey Dead At 90

Legendary radio broadcaster Paul Harvey died of undisclosed causes in Arizona on Saturday. What do you think?

Stripper Putting Herself Through Life

JUPITER, FL—"I've got dreams a lot bigger than this dump," exotic dancer Nina Meyer explained. "I'm only doing this because there's no way I'll ever achieve them."
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Pop Culture

Man Commits To New TV Show Just Hours After Getting Out Of 7-Season Series

UNION CITY, NJ—Recommending that he give himself the chance to pause and explore the other options out there, friends of local man Jonathan Gember expressed their concerns to reporters Wednesday that the 29-year-old is already committing to a new television show just hours after getting out of a seven-season-long series.

Serotonin Makes Locusts Swarm

A new study indicates that an increased level of serotonin—a chemical that can prevent depression in humans—causes locusts to swarm. What do you think?
  • "It makes me so mad to think that those little bastards are probably enjoying the hell out of themselves as they destroy all my corn."

    Andrea Lingel
    Farmer
  • "And all this time I thought locust plagues were sent by a vengeful and jealous God. Once again I have been delivered from the dark recesses of ignorance. Praise Jesus!"

    Justin Hall
    Personal Assistant
  • "You know, this makes sense. My buddy Craig seems pretty happy, and he's always surrounded by thousands of locusts."

    Erik Poole
    Systems Analyst
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