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A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

What You Need To Know About The Trump Administration’s Ties To Russia

New revelations from the U.S. intelligence community about potentially illegal communications between members of the Trump administration and Russian officials, which led to Michael Flynn resigning as national security advisor Monday, have increased calls for a wider investigation of Trump’s murky ties to Russia. Here’s what you need to know.
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Seth MacFarlane To Host Oscars

Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane, who wrote, directed, and starred in the movie Ted this past summer, has been chosen to host the 85th Academy Awards in February. What do you think?

  • “Great! I hope he does his funny voices for four hours.”

    Frankie Hagans Radiologist
  • “Anytime the Oscars try to go young and hip, you know what inevitably happens: The show manages to somehow just get cooler.”

    Brenda Scarano Gold Plater
  • “Seth MacFarlane hosting the Oscars? This will be a bigger disaster than the time Luke Skywalker and Chef Boyardee had to give Alf a sponge bath!”

    Willie Swan Shoe Repairer
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