adBlockCheck

Recent News

Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
End Of Section
  • More News

Sex Pistols Shun Rock Honor

The Sex Pistols are refusing to play at the ceremony during which they will be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. What do you think?
  • "Well then who the hell is going to hit me in the face with a bass guitar and spit on me? I paid over two grand for this ticket!"

    Melissa Okey Systems Analyst
  • "I should hope not. Steve Jones is scheduled to be my bridge partner that night."

    Michael King Dog Trainer
  • "Refusing to attend a black-tie gala is the new Anarchy."

    Brandon Burkhart Waiter

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close