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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Sharks At Risk Of Extinction From Overfishing

According to a new ecological report, nearly 100 million sharks are killed each year by humans, driven in large part by Asian nations’ demand for shark fin soup, and many species could be fished to extinction within decades unless new protections are enacted. What do you think?

  • “Uh-oh. Without sharks, someone’s going to get curious about who’s been eating all those swimmers.”

    Mick Hadrava Floor Waxer
  • “I don’t even want to imagine a world without sharks.”

    Claudette Gale Air Analyst
  • “The sharks should try biting those guys.”

    Matthew Stinson Key Cutter
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