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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Sharks At Risk Of Extinction From Overfishing

According to a new ecological report, nearly 100 million sharks are killed each year by humans, driven in large part by Asian nations’ demand for shark fin soup, and many species could be fished to extinction within decades unless new protections are enacted. What do you think?

  • “Uh-oh. Without sharks, someone’s going to get curious about who’s been eating all those swimmers.”

    Mick Hadrava Floor Waxer
  • “I don’t even want to imagine a world without sharks.”

    Claudette Gale Air Analyst
  • “The sharks should try biting those guys.”

    Matthew Stinson Key Cutter

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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

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