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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Sheehan Quits Peace Movement

Cindy Sheehan, who lost her son in Iraq, is leaving peace activism, citing disillusionment with the Democrats and an antiwar movement that "often puts personal egos above human life." What do you think?
  • "Good. Peace doesn't have any room for quitters."

    Carol Blakely Systems Analyst
  • "This is a huge blow to the antiwar movement. Where are they supposed to find another mother mourning the death of her child?"

    Don Wilkins Shoe Salesman
  • "That's too bad. I had a feeling she was just weeks away from achieving her goal."

    Ralph Ward Antiques Restorer
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