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The Life Of Diana, Princess Of Wales

Today marks 20 years since the funeral of Princess Diana, known to many as the “people’s princess.” The Onion looks back at the life of Princess Diana before it was cut tragically short.

Study: Other Countries Weird

BOSTON—Examining a wide variety of cross-cultural data, a Boston University study released Monday determined that other countries are weird.

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

North Korea Successfully Detonates Nuclear Scientist

PYONGYANG—Hailing it as a significant step forward for their ballistic weapons program just hours after suffering a failed missile launch, North Korean leaders announced Monday they had successfully detonated a nuclear scientist.
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Should Arafat Be Removed?

Many see Palestinian President Yasser Arafat as a roadblock to Mideast peace. What do you think?
  • "Arafat needs to be taught a lesson he'll never survive to forget."

    Scot Armstrong Systems Analyst
  • "These brutish Palestinians need to learn that democracy is about choosing a leader who can speak for all Americans."

    James Eason Lawyer
  • "Hey, there's nothing like martyring a leader to calm the Palestinian extremists."

    Jason Mantzoukas Deliveryman
  • "Arafat should get out of politics. It would give him time to focus on his Baby AraPhat line of Palestinian urban wear."

    Jon Daly Waiter
  • "Arafat should be replaced with someone younger and cuter, like that dreamy Hamas hunk Hafiz Mahmet al-Bahri. Oh, he was assassinated?"

    Tara Copeland Legal Assistant
  • "The question is not 'Should Arafat leave Israel?' The question is 'Why hasn't everybody left Israel?'"

    Christine Walters Loan Counselor

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