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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Should Boys Get HPV Vaccine?

Medical professionals are currently deciding whether using the HPV vaccine to decrease the risk of certain cancers in boys is worth the cost of the immunization treatment. What do you think?

  • "Absolutely they should! Helping kids realize their dream of low-risk, condomless sex is why I became an epidemiologist in the first place."

    Caroline Wheeler Epidemiologist
  • "This vaccine could easily be administered during a mass embarrassing physical at school."

    Matt Fingerman Window Washer
  • "What? Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but it's the woman's job to make sure she doesn't get something from the man."

    Robert Flake Sign Painter
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