adBlockCheck

Recent News

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
End Of Section
  • More News

Should Car Phones Be Banned?

A number of public-safety groups are lobbying Congress to pass legislation banning car phones, calling them dangerous and distracting to the driver. What do you think?
  • "I couldn't concentrate on the road if I was yakking on the horn. It's distracting enough having my secretary blow me on those cross-town commutes."

    Greg Masters Veterinarian
  • "Car phones? Oh, trés passé! Everybody who's anybody communicates via car fax."

    Tad Herman Roofer
  • "I have no need for cars or phones, for I am a mollusk."

    Bob Dwyer Building Contractor
  • "Having a phone in the car has made it so much easier to swerve."

    Helen Holt Systems Analyst
  • "Talking on the phone while driving is an accident waiting to happen, so I just sit in the garage all day, waiting for calls."

    Lynette Eggert Chiropractor
  • "Car phone or no car phone, one thing is certain—I'm not gonna pay a lot for this muffler!"

    Rick Nielsen Carpenter

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close