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Should Car Phones Be Banned?

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Entire Broncos Organization Announces Retirement After Super Bowl Win

‘There’s Nothing Better Than Going Out On Top,’ Says Every Denver Player, Coach, Executive, Trainer, Office Administrator, Janitor

SANTA CLARA, CA—Following the team’s 24-10 victory over the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl 50, every single member of the Denver Broncos organization officially announced their retirement Sunday.

Family, Friends Concerned After Peyton Manning Wanders Away From Pocket

SANTA CLARA, CA—Admitting to being “worried sick” after realizing he had suddenly disappeared in the middle of a play, family and friends of Peyton Manning grew incredibly concerned Sunday after the veteran Denver Broncos quarterback wandered away from the pocket during the first quarter of Super Bowl 50, sources confirmed.
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Should Car Phones Be Banned?

A number of public-safety groups are lobbying Congress to pass legislation banning car phones, calling them dangerous and distracting to the driver. What do you think?
  • "I couldn't concentrate on the road if I was yakking on the horn. It's distracting enough having my secretary blow me on those cross-town commutes."

    Greg Masters
    Veterinarian
  • "Car phones? Oh, trés passé! Everybody who's anybody communicates via car fax."

    Tad Herman
    Roofer
  • "I have no need for cars or phones, for I am a mollusk."

    Bob Dwyer
    Building Contractor
  • "Having a phone in the car has made it so much easier to swerve."

    Helen Holt
    Systems Analyst
  • "Talking on the phone while driving is an accident waiting to happen, so I just sit in the garage all day, waiting for calls."

    Lynette Eggert
    Chiropractor
  • "Car phone or no car phone, one thing is certain—I'm not gonna pay a lot for this muffler!"

    Rick Nielsen
    Carpenter

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