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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone

WASHINGTON—Entering through a side door and bidding the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and members of the media to give him a moment with the former FBI director, President Donald Trump reportedly asked the entire Senate to clear the chamber during James Comey’s testimony Thursday so he could speak to him alone.

A Timeline Of The Watergate Scandal

With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
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Should Rumsfeld Resign?

As the investigation into abuses at Abu Ghraib prison continues, some Americans are urging Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld to step down. What do you think?
  • "Donald Rumsfeld can't be held responsible for the misdeeds of every last soldier who obeys his orders."

    Gary Harless Systems Analyst
  • "Firing Rumsfeld is unnecessary. If we demote him to Secretary of Health and Human Services for a while, he'll fall into line."

    Karen Heck Saleswoman
  • "If anyone has the balls to fire Rumsfeld, I say go ahead."

    Tammy Hainzlsperger Botanist
  • "Making Rumsfeld resign would be wrong, what with him being pregnant and all."

    Michael Paulson Machinist
  • "Rumsfeld should be replaced with one of those peace-loving hackysack-kicking hippies that serve as his undersecretaries."

    Joshua Anderson Clerk
  • "Look, if we start by holding one member of Bush's administration responsible for his actions, where's it all gonna end?"

    Richard Gehl Trial Lawyer

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