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CEO Worked Way Up From Son Of CEO

Though today he holds a powerful position as head of a leading information technology firm, MergeMedia CEO Gary Lightman told reporters Thursday he, amazingly, worked his way to the very top of the company from humble beginnings as the son of the previous...

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:
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Should Rumsfeld Resign?

As the investigation into abuses at Abu Ghraib prison continues, some Americans are urging Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld to step down. What do you think?
  • "Donald Rumsfeld can't be held responsible for the misdeeds of every last soldier who obeys his orders."

    Gary Harless Systems Analyst
  • "Firing Rumsfeld is unnecessary. If we demote him to Secretary of Health and Human Services for a while, he'll fall into line."

    Karen Heck Saleswoman
  • "If anyone has the balls to fire Rumsfeld, I say go ahead."

    Tammy Hainzlsperger Botanist
  • "Making Rumsfeld resign would be wrong, what with him being pregnant and all."

    Michael Paulson Machinist
  • "Rumsfeld should be replaced with one of those peace-loving hackysack-kicking hippies that serve as his undersecretaries."

    Joshua Anderson Clerk
  • "Look, if we start by holding one member of Bush's administration responsible for his actions, where's it all gonna end?"

    Richard Gehl Trial Lawyer
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Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:

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