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Politics

Web Series Reaches 100 Views

A comedic webisode about two roommates became a viral sensation this week after reaching the unprecedented 100 view milestone.

Black Man Out Of Work

WASHINGTON—Joining the ranks of the unemployed at a time when joblessness remains stubbornly high among African Americans, 55-year-old local black man Barack Obama has lost the full-time job he has held for the past eight years, sources confirmed Friday.

Departing Obama Tearfully Shoos Away Loyal Drone Following Him Out Of White House

‘Go On Now, Git,’ Says Former President

WASHINGTON—Stopping and turning around as he made his way across the South Lawn after hearing the unmanned aerial vehicle hovering just feet behind him, outgoing President Barack Obama tearfully shooed away a loyal MQ-9 Reaper drone attempting to follow him out of the White House, sources confirmed Friday.

Jimmy Carter Contemplating Dying Right Here And Now

WASHINGTON—Carefully weighing the pros and cons of each option from his seat onstage at Donald Trump’s inauguration, former president Jimmy Carter is, according to late-breaking reports, currently contemplating dying right here and now.

Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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Should Rumsfeld Resign?

As the investigation into abuses at Abu Ghraib prison continues, some Americans are urging Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld to step down. What do you think?
  • "Donald Rumsfeld can't be held responsible for the misdeeds of every last soldier who obeys his orders."

    Gary Harless Systems Analyst
  • "Firing Rumsfeld is unnecessary. If we demote him to Secretary of Health and Human Services for a while, he'll fall into line."

    Karen Heck Saleswoman
  • "If anyone has the balls to fire Rumsfeld, I say go ahead."

    Tammy Hainzlsperger Botanist
  • "Making Rumsfeld resign would be wrong, what with him being pregnant and all."

    Michael Paulson Machinist
  • "Rumsfeld should be replaced with one of those peace-loving hackysack-kicking hippies that serve as his undersecretaries."

    Joshua Anderson Clerk
  • "Look, if we start by holding one member of Bush's administration responsible for his actions, where's it all gonna end?"

    Richard Gehl Trial Lawyer

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