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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Should Sugar Be Regulated?

In a recent editorial in the journal Nature, researchers from the University of California–San Francisco suggested that as a toxic substance, sugar should be taxed and regulated like alcohol or tobacco. What do you think?

  • "The only thing I love more than drinking, smoking, and eating bad are taxes and regulations, so hell yeah!”

    Susan Matz Systems Analyst
  • "I'm sick of all this nanny-state liberalism. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go yell slurs at women outside Planned Parenthood."

    John Kensel Unemployed
  • "That’s all right. I switched to blackstrap molasses in my coffee long ago. Which got me off coffee, too."

    Robert Preston Animal Breeder
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