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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Should The U.S. Attack Iraq?

Frustrated by Saddam Hussein's continued defiance of U.N. weapons inspectors, the U.S. is strongly considering a tactical strike against Iraq. What do you think?
  • "War is bad for little children and other living things. No, that's not my opinion, it's just something I did a hook-rug of once. By all means, bomb, bomb, bomb."

    Randi Chester Manicurist
  • "If we have all those extra soldiers, we may as well use some of them up."

    Kip Fraschilla Systems Analyst
  • "This grave international crisis makes me want to shout 'U.S.A.' thrice."

    Max Rudolph Landscaper
  • "With the Olympics over, I desperately need a new outlet for my rampant jingoism."

    Gina Barlow Science Teacher
  • "Before the U.S. resorts to bombing Iraq, we should make sure we've fully explored all other possible options, such as raping their women."

    Tyler Welles Tour Guide
  • "Remember back when Iran was bad, and Iraq was good? That was, like, weird."

    Ronald Potts Temp Worker

More from this section

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

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