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Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.

Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.
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Shutdown Halts Craft Beer Production

The federal agency that approves new brewing companies, beer recipes, and beer labels has been closed amid the government shutdown, halting the opening of new craft breweries throughout the U.S. and delaying the rollout of specialty and seasonal beers. What do you think?

  • “Not the seasonals!”

    James Osteen Information Scientist
  • “This might be just the spur I need to go on and on about homebrewing.”

    Chris Leggett Adobe Maker
  • “These are the dark times that were foretold in the prophecy.”

    Nicole Rebhorn High Rigger
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