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Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.

God Excited About First Trip To Japan

THE HEAVENS—After years of talking about visiting the East Asian country, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was excited to finally be taking His first trip to Japan.

Most Anticipated Panels At Comic-Con

San Diego Comic-Con kicks off tomorrow, and this year’s schedule is packed with must-see events. Here are the most highly-anticipated panels of Comic-Con 2017.

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.
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Shutdown Halts Craft Beer Production

The federal agency that approves new brewing companies, beer recipes, and beer labels has been closed amid the government shutdown, halting the opening of new craft breweries throughout the U.S. and delaying the rollout of specialty and seasonal beers. What do you think?

  • “Not the seasonals!”

    James Osteen Information Scientist
  • “This might be just the spur I need to go on and on about homebrewing.”

    Chris Leggett Adobe Maker
  • “These are the dark times that were foretold in the prophecy.”

    Nicole Rebhorn High Rigger

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