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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Sierra Leone Has Safest Internet

A survey of computer viruses and malware attacks found Sierra Leone was the safest place in the world to surf the web. What do you think?

  • "The other feather in their cap is their rise to 145th in life expectancy."

    Carter Wise Ice Skating Instructor
  • "It may not win me a lot of social approval, but my blood Office software runs like a dream."

    Quinn Aaronson Store Manager
  • "If I have to go there to check my e-mail, then so be it. Which bus do I take?"

    Javier Bell Unemployed
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