adBlockCheck

Recent News

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.

Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.
End Of Section
  • More News

Singers Told Not To Bare Breasts, Buttocks At Grammys

Recording artists attending the 55th Grammy Awards on Sunday have been given a “wardrobe advisory” by broadcaster CBS, requiring them to ensure their wardrobes “adequately cover” their breasts and buttocks. What do you think?

  • “How about if we’re just watching the Grammys? Can we do it then?”

    Mae Ellingwood Nurse Anesthetist
  • “When they get up on stage, could they at least be allowed to describe what their boobs and butts might look like?”

    Andre Bueno Systems Analyst
  • “That’s right. The Grammys must be kept respectable.”

    Edwin Coker Bobbin Fixer
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close