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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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Singers Told Not To Bare Breasts, Buttocks At Grammys

Recording artists attending the 55th Grammy Awards on Sunday have been given a “wardrobe advisory” by broadcaster CBS, requiring them to ensure their wardrobes “adequately cover” their breasts and buttocks. What do you think?

  • “How about if we’re just watching the Grammys? Can we do it then?”

    Mae Ellingwood Nurse Anesthetist
  • “When they get up on stage, could they at least be allowed to describe what their boobs and butts might look like?”

    Andre Bueno Systems Analyst
  • “That’s right. The Grammys must be kept respectable.”

    Edwin Coker Bobbin Fixer

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