Singers Told Not To Bare Breasts, Buttocks At Grammys

In This Section

Vol 49 Issue 06

Tips For A Romantic Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is right around the corner. Here are some tips for putting together the perfect romantic evening with your loved one: Make his favorite home-cooked meal and leave a trail of it leading to the bed. If you forgot to buy her flowers, ...

Song Crafted In The Deepest Pit Of Hell Wins Big At Grammys

LOS ANGELES—A song forged by the Ruler of Darkness himself in the blackest bowels of the accursed underworld proved to be the big winner at the 55th Annual Grammy Awards Sunday, taking home an impressive six of the music industry’s top honors, including Song of the Year and Best Pop Solo Performance.

SeaWorld Unveils New 20 Whales Stuffed In Pool Show

A PR firm advises the United States to distance itself from Alabama, the FDA announces peanut butter contains traces of rat feces but life's weird like that sometimes, and a doomed rabbit teaches an 8-year-old about responsibility.

Baseball's Biggest Offseason Moves

With a flurry of trades and free agent signings across the league this offseason, Onion Sports analysts examine Major League Baseball’s most significant moves. Arizona Diamondbacks: Managed to trade their most valuable assets for mini...
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Pop Culture

Man Commits To New TV Show Just Hours After Getting Out Of 7-Season Series

UNION CITY, NJ—Recommending that he give himself the chance to pause and explore the other options out there, friends of local man Jonathan Gember expressed their concerns to reporters Wednesday that the 29-year-old is already committing to a new television show just hours after getting out of a seven-season-long series.

Race Relations

Singers Told Not To Bare Breasts, Buttocks At Grammys

Recording artists attending the 55th Grammy Awards on Sunday have been given a “wardrobe advisory” by broadcaster CBS, requiring them to ensure their wardrobes “adequately cover” their breasts and buttocks. What do you think?

  • “How about if we’re just watching the Grammys? Can we do it then?”

    Mae Ellingwood
    Nurse Anesthetist
  • “When they get up on stage, could they at least be allowed to describe what their boobs and butts might look like?”

    Andre Bueno
    Systems Analyst
  • “That’s right. The Grammys must be kept respectable.”

    Edwin Coker
    Bobbin Fixer
Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More