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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.
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Six Flags To Feature Virtual Reality Roller Coasters

This spring, Six Flags will roll out North America’s first virtual reality roller coasters, in which riders will wear VR headsets that simulate the earth’s battle with alien invaders. What do you think?



  • “Will everyone please just stop trying to immerse me in things all the time?”

    Richard Lohber Trowel Artisan
  • “It’s amazing how science is constantly discovering new ways to make me vomit on strangers.”

    Maude Travers Conference Scheduler
  • “But who will see how brave I am when I let go of the bar and wave my arms above my head?”

    Gil Fiorello Denim Embroiderer

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