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Skyrocketing TV-Star Salaries

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Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
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Skyrocketing TV-Star Salaries

Next year, Helen Hunt will earn $1 million per episode of Mad About You. NBC offered Jerry Seinfeld $3 million per episode to continue Seinfeld. What do you think about the recent explosion in television stars' salaries?
  • "I know it's a lot of money, but come on: Those TV shows are fuckin' great."

    Richard Strom Science Teacher
  • "Mark my words–Americans will soon tire of the trash that is television and turn once more to classical Greek theatre, moved to laughter and tears as they discover that gods still haunt the proscenium."

    Christine Kosta Graduate Student
  • "These television stars are overpaid no-talents who don't deserve a fraction of the money they're getting. Except that one guy on The Sentinel."

    Allan Holcomb Interpreter
  • "Anyone who questions whether TV stars are worth the money they're getting obviously hasn't watched Moesha."

    Tina Alt Legal Secretary
  • "One million dollars is a fair price to pay Helen Hunt for that episode where she gave birth. That had to hurt like hell."

    Greg Stallings Systems Analyst
  • "If we don't pay top dollar to make our television the best it can be, it is the children of America who will ultimately suffer."

    Ryan Schu Firefighter

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