adBlockCheck

Entertainment

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
End Of Section
  • More News

Skyrocketing TV-Star Salaries

Next year, Helen Hunt will earn $1 million per episode of Mad About You. NBC offered Jerry Seinfeld $3 million per episode to continue Seinfeld. What do you think about the recent explosion in television stars' salaries?
  • "I know it's a lot of money, but come on: Those TV shows are fuckin' great."

    Richard Strom Science Teacher
  • "Mark my words–Americans will soon tire of the trash that is television and turn once more to classical Greek theatre, moved to laughter and tears as they discover that gods still haunt the proscenium."

    Christine Kosta Graduate Student
  • "These television stars are overpaid no-talents who don't deserve a fraction of the money they're getting. Except that one guy on The Sentinel."

    Allan Holcomb Interpreter
  • "Anyone who questions whether TV stars are worth the money they're getting obviously hasn't watched Moesha."

    Tina Alt Legal Secretary
  • "One million dollars is a fair price to pay Helen Hunt for that episode where she gave birth. That had to hurt like hell."

    Greg Stallings Systems Analyst
  • "If we don't pay top dollar to make our television the best it can be, it is the children of America who will ultimately suffer."

    Ryan Schu Firefighter

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close