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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Sleep Improves With Age

A new study from the University of Pennsylvania concluded that sleep improves with age. What do you think?

  • “How about the time spent awake? At what point does that not suck shit?”

    Tyler Sorum Systems Analyst
  • “That’s convenient. Because I’ve got a jam-packed schedule till I’m 63.”

    Andrea Gill Box-Lining-Machine Feeder
  • “Wow, just like sex. That’s right, we’re all still having sex and it is very satisfying and there’s nothing you can do to stop us.”

    Chuck Burston Table Hand

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