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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Smarter Women Less Likely To Have Kids

According to new research, women who are more intelligent are less likely to want children, with researchers finding that a woman’s urge to have a baby diminished by 25 percent for every 15-point increase in her IQ. What do you think?

  • “As a strong, intelligent woman, I plan on getting pregnant tonight just to prove this offensive study wrong.”

    Starla Hurley Game Warden
  • “Eh, who needs their genetic advantage anyway?”

    Randy Fields Plasma Arc Welder
  • “I’ve never thought of my mother as a dimwit until now.”

    Seth Faustino Helicopter Dispatcher
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