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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Smarter Women Less Likely To Have Kids

According to new research, women who are more intelligent are less likely to want children, with researchers finding that a woman’s urge to have a baby diminished by 25 percent for every 15-point increase in her IQ. What do you think?

  • “As a strong, intelligent woman, I plan on getting pregnant tonight just to prove this offensive study wrong.”

    Starla Hurley Game Warden
  • “Eh, who needs their genetic advantage anyway?”

    Randy Fields Plasma Arc Welder
  • “I’ve never thought of my mother as a dimwit until now.”

    Seth Faustino Helicopter Dispatcher
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