adBlockCheck

Smoke Alarms May Fail To Wake Children

Top Headlines

Recent News

End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Entertainment

  • How Theaters Are Trying To Win Back Moviegoers

    The number of Americans who went to the movies hit a 20-year low in 2014, leaving theaters scrambling to find ways to incentivize the public to see new releases on the big screen rather than watch films at home or on the internet. Here are some methods theaters are using to win back audiences and increase box office sales:

Smoke Alarms May Fail To Wake Children

Studies show that many children do not wake up for smoke alarms, a special concern over the holidays. What do you think?
  • "Kids are so spoiled. In my day, if we ignored the fire alarm, we burned to death!"

    Ted Hart
    Gift Wrapper
  • "My wife and I believe it's more dependable to stand on the lawn and scream 'My baby is still up there!'"

    Andy Toomin
    Carpet Layer
  • "That reminds me. I think the batteries for that thing are in the flashlight right now."

    Sally Carmichael
    Genealogist

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close