Smokey The Bear Gets Millennial Makeover For 70th Anniversary

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Vol 50 Issue 32

Wrigley Field Removes Iconic Ivy From Urinal Troughs

CHICAGO—In a move that has outraged many fans who consider the vines a treasured part of Wrigley Field’s charm and unique character, the Chicago Cubs announced Friday that they would be removing the stadium’s iconic ivy from its urinal t...

Weak-Willed Termite Eats Whole Log In One Sitting

A local man feels even lazier when he thinks about how much ISIS has accomplished this year, a police officer doesn’t see a difference between black and light-skinned black suspects, and a weak-willed termite eats a whole log in one sitting.
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Man Considers Nodding Approvingly After Friend’s Drink Purchase

MEQUON, WI—Seeking to convey his endorsement of his acquaintance's selection at local bar Coney's Draft House this evening, area man Thomas Dodge told reporters that he was considering nodding approvingly at his friend’s alcoholic beverage pur...

Fun

  • Night Out Consecrated With Opening Exchange Of High-Fives

    CHARLOTTE, NC—Kicking off the evening with their customary expression of excitement and camaraderie, a group of friends reportedly consecrated their night out on the town Friday with a ceremonial opening exchange of high-fives.

Smokey The Bear Gets Millennial Makeover For 70th Anniversary

In honor of the firefighting mascot’s 70th anniversary this week, advertisers gave Smokey the Bear a makeover to appeal to the millennial generation, which included giving him Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram accounts. What do you think?

  • “He looks great, but to be honest, I’m still going to burn stuff.”

    Jennifer Naiman
    Gift Wrapping Associate
  • “I’m glad they recognize that millennials’ approach to not setting forest fires is totally different from their parents’ generation.”

    Marcus DeWitt
    Unemployed
  • “That’s a good start, but if Smokey really wants to stop me from starting fires, he’s going to need to follow me back.”

    Cameron Bryant
    Beach Patroller
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