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Smokey The Bear Turns 65

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Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
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Ugh, This A Place Where Bartenders Wear Bow Tie

PITTSBURGH—Saying they should have known from the moment they walked in the unmarked speakeasy entrance and spotted the extensive wood paneling, customers confirmed Friday that, ugh, this is one of those places where the bartenders all wear bow ties.

Smokey The Bear Turns 65

The USDA Forest Service mascot Smokey Bear turned 65 earlier this month. What do you think?
  • "Since Smokey opened my eyes to fire safety years ago, I've learned a ton from just chatting with bears."

    Axel Hill Bailiff
  • "You'd think the idea of a large brown bear in jeans and a ranger hat would be very effective in reaching a demographic mainly composed of crazed arsonists and lightning strikes, but I have my doubts."

    Rose Johnson Therapist
  • "That irresponsible bear has led to our nation’s single-minded focus on preventing forest fires, when the real threats to American woodlands are the nefarious Sirex woodwasp, emerald ash borer, and hemlock wooly adelgid."

    Stephan Latta Unemployed

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