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Smokey The Bear Turns 65

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Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
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Smokey The Bear Turns 65

The USDA Forest Service mascot Smokey Bear turned 65 earlier this month. What do you think?
  • "Since Smokey opened my eyes to fire safety years ago, I've learned a ton from just chatting with bears."

    Axel Hill Bailiff
  • "You'd think the idea of a large brown bear in jeans and a ranger hat would be very effective in reaching a demographic mainly composed of crazed arsonists and lightning strikes, but I have my doubts."

    Rose Johnson Therapist
  • "That irresponsible bear has led to our nation’s single-minded focus on preventing forest fires, when the real threats to American woodlands are the nefarious Sirex woodwasp, emerald ash borer, and hemlock wooly adelgid."

    Stephan Latta Unemployed

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