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Smokey The Bear Turns 65

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Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
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Smokey The Bear Turns 65

The USDA Forest Service mascot Smokey Bear turned 65 earlier this month. What do you think?
  • "Since Smokey opened my eyes to fire safety years ago, I've learned a ton from just chatting with bears."

    Axel Hill Bailiff
  • "You'd think the idea of a large brown bear in jeans and a ranger hat would be very effective in reaching a demographic mainly composed of crazed arsonists and lightning strikes, but I have my doubts."

    Rose Johnson Therapist
  • "That irresponsible bear has led to our nation’s single-minded focus on preventing forest fires, when the real threats to American woodlands are the nefarious Sirex woodwasp, emerald ash borer, and hemlock wooly adelgid."

    Stephan Latta Unemployed

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