Smoking And The Movies

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Biologists Still No Closer To Discovering How Birds Have Sex

BERKELEY, CA—With not a single scientist having successfully observed the behavior despite extensive ongoing research, the field of biology has made no progress in its understanding of how birds have sex, experts at the University of California told reporters Wednesday.

Best Buy Employee Wearing Different Colored Shirt For Some Reason

‘His Shirt Is Black,’ Confused Customers Say

FAIRFAX, VA—Eyeing the staff member with wariness and confusion, customers at the Fair City Mall Best Buy location confirmed Wednesday that one of the store’s employees was, for some reason, wearing a black shirt rather than a blue one like the rest of his coworkers.

Nobel Peace Prize Candidates

There are 273 candidates for the Nobel Peace Prize this year, the second-highest number of nominees ever, and the laureate(s) will be announced Friday before the prize ceremony in December. Here are some notable candidates for this year’s award:
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Smoking And The Movies

The Clinton Administration recently took Hollywood to task for the rise in on-screen portrayals of smoking. What do you think about cigarettes and cinema?
  • "If people see characters smoking in movies, it's only a matter of time before we start to see people smoking in real life."

    Sharon Wayne
    Speech Pathologist
  • "I say, down with smoking, and up with gender- positive portrayals of anthropomorphic squirrels in animated musicals."

    Matt Reiderer
    Construction Worker
  • "I started smoking at age 13 after seeing my Uncle Abe's glamorous portrayal of smoking in my Bar Mitzvah video."

    David Pinsky
  • "Doesn't anyone know those are just prop cigarettes used in the movies?"

    Chet Billups
    Systems Analyst
  • "Hollywood needs a few more people like Kevin Costner, who in 1995's Waterworld took a rare, heroic stand against the evil Smokers."

    Adrienne Elson
    Guidance Counselor
  • "Movies need to stop entertaining and start educating."

    Paul Dougan