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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Snakes On A Plane

Snakes On A Plane, the highly anticipated Samuel L. Jackson vehicle featuring snakes on a passenger aircraft, is opening today. What do you think?
  • "Cool. What's it about?"

    Alyssa Kornbluth Volleyball Coach
  • "This is just great. I'm sure the terrorists had never even thought of bringing snakes on plane—until now. Way to go, Jackson."

    Darrell Stibbe Medical Technician
  • "What, just normal, average, run-of-the-mill venomous snakes on a regular commercial jet? There's no gimmick?"

    Adam Simmonds Systems Analyst
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