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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Snakes On A Plane

Snakes On A Plane, the highly anticipated Samuel L. Jackson vehicle featuring snakes on a passenger aircraft, is opening today. What do you think?
  • "Cool. What's it about?"

    Alyssa Kornbluth Volleyball Coach
  • "This is just great. I'm sure the terrorists had never even thought of bringing snakes on plane—until now. Way to go, Jackson."

    Darrell Stibbe Medical Technician
  • "What, just normal, average, run-of-the-mill venomous snakes on a regular commercial jet? There's no gimmick?"

    Adam Simmonds Systems Analyst
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