Snakes On A Plane

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Frenzied Trump Supporters Admit They’d Be Just As Happy Tearing Him To Pieces

‘We’re Just Mad And Want To Destroy Something,’ Say Candidate’s Backers

WASHINGTON—Saying they simply needed something to direct their anger toward, the nation’s frenzied Donald Trump supporters admitted Thursday that, if circumstances were different, they would be just as happy tearing the Republican frontrunner to pieces.
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Snakes On A Plane

Snakes On A Plane, the highly anticipated Samuel L. Jackson vehicle featuring snakes on a passenger aircraft, is opening today. What do you think?
  • "Cool. What's it about?"

    Alyssa Kornbluth
    Volleyball Coach
  • "This is just great. I'm sure the terrorists had never even thought of bringing snakes on plane—until now. Way to go, Jackson."

    Darrell Stibbe
    Medical Technician
  • "What, just normal, average, run-of-the-mill venomous snakes on a regular commercial jet? There's no gimmick?"

    Adam Simmonds
    Systems Analyst