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‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.

FDA Rents Party House Upstate To Test New Drug

TOBYHANNA, PA—With preclinical studies of an in-development cholesterol-reducing medication now complete, Food and Drug Administration officials confirmed Monday they would be conducting initial trials of the new drug at a large party house they had rented in upstate Pennsylvania.

Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.
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Sochi The Most Expensive Winter Olympics Ever

Analysts estimate the cost of the Sochi Winter Olympics to be $50 billion and counting, with soaring costs attributed in part to high-priced security, the erection of 11 new venues, and Putin awarding outsized construction contracts to his business buddies. What do you think?

  • “At least now everyone feels safe.”

    Doug Dooley Certified Residential Appraiser
  • “Well, they’re definitely going to have to go through with it now.”

    Raoul Menzies Photo Retoucher
  • “You can’t put a price on a child’s smile.”

    Krista Geddeis Retail Strategist

More from this section

FDA Rents Party House Upstate To Test New Drug

TOBYHANNA, PA—With preclinical studies of an in-development cholesterol-reducing medication now complete, Food and Drug Administration officials confirmed Monday they would be conducting initial trials of the new drug at a large party house they had rented in upstate Pennsylvania.

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