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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Soda Consumption Falls To Lowest Level Since 1996

According to new data from the trade publication Beverage Digest, Americans purchased 9.17 billion cases of soda in 2012, the lowest level of sales since 1996. What do you think?

  • “If we keep comparing everything to 1996 we’ll never be happy.”

    Anita Deon Termite Exterminator
  • “No wonder we’re all so healthy and energetic.”

    Vince Sterling Fuse Assembler
  • “Don’t blame me. I’m still drinking a shitload of soda.”

    Todd Edelman Bicycle Inspector
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