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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Solar Activity Has Electric Companies On Alert

Three large explosions on the surface of the sun may affect satellite technology, communication systems, and the power grid. What do you think?

  • "These $50 Cosmic Irregularity surcharges that keep showing up on my electric bill are killing me.”

    Lou Wilson Ball-Turing Machine Operator
  • "This sounds like the perfect opportunity to talk nonstop about how analog I am. Bring it on!"

    Paula Ballard Felt Cutter
  • "The moon never pulls shit like this."

    Dick McGlown Unemployed
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