Solar Activity Has Electric Companies On Alert

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Vol 47 Issue 32

Seeing Eye Dog Really Blows Off Some Steam In Dog Park

FORT COLLINS, CO—From the moment he was let loose in a local dog park Saturday, golden retriever and licensed Seeing Eye dog Biscuit reportedly blew off some steam by jumping up to lick people's faces, urinating on smaller dogs, and chasing almost e...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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    Japanese pharmaceutical company Otsuka has announced plans to put their sports drink Pocari Sweat on the moon in a specially equipped container bearing their logo, which, if successful, would be the first time a commercial product has been flown to the mo...

Healthy Living

  • The Onion’s Guide To Gym Etiquette

    Every new year brings a surge in gym membership from new members nicknamed “resolutionists,” many of whom may be unaware that there are unspoken rules everyone must observe when working out.

Solar Activity Has Electric Companies On Alert

Three large explosions on the surface of the sun may affect satellite technology, communication systems, and the power grid. What do you think?

  • "These $50 Cosmic Irregularity surcharges that keep showing up on my electric bill are killing me.”

    Lou Wilson
    Ball-Turing Machine Operator
  • "This sounds like the perfect opportunity to talk nonstop about how analog I am. Bring it on!"

    Paula Ballard
    Felt Cutter
  • "The moon never pulls shit like this."

    Dick McGlown
    Unemployed
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