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Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.
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Solar Plane Makes First Intercontinental Flight

Pilots flew the Solar Impulse, an experimental solar-powered two-person aircraft, on a two-leg journey from Switzerland to Morocco. What do you think?

  • “That seems pretty risky. What if Ra becomes displeased and blots out the sun?”

    Kelly Knight Systems Analyst
  • “Sure, it may be efficient to fly, but it'll take a lot of the available power for the speakers to make a satisfying roaring sound.”

    Abigail Humphreys Char Puller
  • “Harnessing energy from the sun is so short-sighted. It’s just going to blow up in a few trillion years anyway.”

    James Dale Scroll Assembler

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