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Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.
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Sony Loses $6.4 Billion

After writing down deferred tax credits, the Sony Corporation reported an annual net loss of $6.4 billion, double its initial projections and marking the fourth year in a row the company has lost money. What do you think?

  • "As soon as an electronics company invents a shower radio that can tune in 90.3, they'll get a sale out of me."

    Paul Finley Plastics Patternmaker
  • "Best Buy doesn't like it when you do this, but Sony should go down and sell some stuff half-price in their parking lot this Saturday. The manager says he'll call the cops, but never does."

    Alison Aviles Unemployed
  • "Oh, no! I hope they still have enough money left to refund these headphones I just shipped back. They were really shitty."

    Malcom Johnson Landscape Architect

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