Sony Recalls Risky CDs

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Vol 41 Issue 47

Bush Targeted Al-Jazeera?

According to a leaked memo, President Bush talked about targeting the headquarters of Arabic news station Al-Jazeera in a meeting with Tony Blair in...

"Tookie" To Be Executed?

Crips founder, children's book author, and anti-gang activist Stanley "Tookie" Williams is scheduled for execution next week unless granted clemency by Gov. Schwarzenegger. What do you think?

NFL To Move All 32 Teams To Los Angeles

NEW YORK—National Football League commissioner Paul Tagliabue announced Tuesday that, after over a decade without a football team, Los Angeles would become the home of all 32 NFL franchises by 2010.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Healthy Living

  • The Onion’s Guide To Gym Etiquette

    Every new year brings a surge in gym membership from new members nicknamed “resolutionists,” many of whom may be unaware that there are unspoken rules everyone must observe when working out.

Fantasy Sports

FIFA Frantically Announces 2015 Summer World Cup In United States

ZURICH—After the Justice Department indicted numerous executives from world soccer’s governing body on charges of corruption and bribery, frantic and visibly nervous officials from FIFA held an impromptu press conference Wednesday to announce that the United States has been selected to host this summer’s 2015 World Cup.

Sony Recalls Risky CDs

Sony was forced to recall 4.7 million CDs this month because the copyright-protection software embedded on the discs left computers prone to hacker attacks. What do you think?
  • "This won't be the first time I got a virus from that Sarah McLachlan."

    Cameron Feng
    Electrician
  • "I've been downloading bootleg MP3s for nearly three years and the first CD I buy fucks up my computer?"

    Jesse Glass
    Machinist
  • "I've always known that one day, Sony's unblinking commitment to artist's rights would come back to bite them in the ass."

    Sonja Kelly
    Custom Tailor
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