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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Sony Stops Making Walkman

Sony has announced it will no longer manufacture the Walkman, the cassette player that revolutionized music portability 30 years ago. What do you think?

  • "But what if I need to convince a coma patient that it's 1985?"

    Xena Dine Dog Groomer
  • "You don't need a thousand songs at your disposal as long as you got your Joseph And The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat in the player and some Belinda Carlisle in your pocket if you need a changeover."

    Lloyd Martey Systems Analyst
  • "Oh, no! How is my eighth-grade girlfriend going to listen to that 'Our Love Is Synthesized' mix-tape I made her?"

    Randall Popp Unemployed
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