South Dakota Abortion Ban

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Man Commits To New TV Show Just Hours After Getting Out Of 7-Season Series

UNION CITY, NJ—Recommending that he give himself the chance to pause and explore the other options out there, friends of local man Jonathan Gember expressed their concerns to reporters Wednesday that the 29-year-old is already committing to a new television show just hours after getting out of a seven-season-long series.

South Dakota Abortion Ban

South Dakota is poised to enact an abortion ban that would include cases of rape or incest. What do you think?
  • "This shouldn't have much effect on the lives of South Dakotans. Based on the population figures, it's clear that they are terrible reproducers."

    Jonathan Harford
    Systems Analyst
  • “Who knew a move to North Dakota would ever look like an attractive option?”

    Ellie Kemper
    Prosecutor
  • “Slow down, South Dakota. Alito and Roberts were given lifetime appointments. What's the rush?”

    Dave T. Koenig
    Gardener
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