'South Park' Creators Threatened By Extremists

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Vol 46 Issue 17

PNC Park Sold Out For 'Fan Euthanasia Night'

PITTSBURGH—PNC Park boasted a rare sellout crowd Tuesday when more than 38,000 eager Pirates fans showed up for "Fan Euthanasia Night," during which each attendee was guaranteed "the sweet release of a quick and painless death" c...

Player Drafted At Linebacker To Start At Realtor

OAKLAND, CA—The Raiders organization welcomed sixth-round draft choice Travis Goethel Wednesday and said the Arizona State linebacker would more than likely be asked to start as a Bay-area Realtor by the beginning of next season.

Money Spent For Old Time's Sake

BROCKWAY, PA—Harkening back to an abandoned custom that had long existed only in memory, 28-year-old unemployed graphic designer Leslie Gordon exchanged currency for physical goods at a local shopping establishment Friday.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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    Japanese pharmaceutical company Otsuka has announced plans to put their sports drink Pocari Sweat on the moon in a specially equipped container bearing their logo, which, if successful, would be the first time a commercial product has been flown to the mo...

'South Park' Creators Threatened By Extremists

In response to a South Park episode in which the Prophet Muhammad appears in a bear costume, the radical Muslim website Revolutionmuslim.com hinted that the TV show’s creators would end up like murdered Dutch filmmaker Theo Van Gogh. What do you think?

  • "This ultimately boils down to a very thorny question of intercultural sensitivity: Should Islamic extremists be allowed to kill whoever they want?"

    Alex Weber
    Systems Analyst
  • "It scares me when people don't think bears are hilarious."

    Carla Davidson
    Nitrator Operator
  • "The 23rd Surah of the Quran explicitly describes the Prophet receiving Allah's word while wearing a bear suit for his niece's fourth birthday party, so I'm not sure where the offense is."

    Doug Reber
    Unemployed
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