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South Park vs. Scientology

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Entire Broncos Organization Announces Retirement After Super Bowl Win

‘There’s Nothing Better Than Going Out On Top,’ Says Every Denver Player, Coach, Executive, Trainer, Office Administrator, Janitor

SANTA CLARA, CA—Following the team’s 24-10 victory over the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl 50, every single member of the Denver Broncos organization officially announced their retirement Sunday.

Family, Friends Concerned After Peyton Manning Wanders Away From Pocket

SANTA CLARA, CA—Admitting to being “worried sick” after realizing he had suddenly disappeared in the middle of a play, family and friends of Peyton Manning grew incredibly concerned Sunday after the veteran Denver Broncos quarterback wandered away from the pocket during the first quarter of Super Bowl 50, sources confirmed.
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South Park vs. Scientology

Following the departure of Isaac Hayes last week, Comedy Central pulled an episode of South Park that lampooned Tom Cruise and Scientology. What do you think?
  • "Leave the Scientologists alone, already. Don't they have enough to worry about, what with the tyranny of the galactic God Xenu and his evil body thetans?"

    Stephen Grossman
    Epidemiologist
  • "Comedy Central has already insulted Scientology with its glib representations of battling robots."

    Brianna Hodges
    Industrial Engineer
  • "I'm with Isaac Hayes. Shows about testicles, talking feces, and starving Africans are one thing, but discussing Scientology is offensive."

    Jeremy Marshka
    Mathematician

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