Southern Food Causes Strokes?

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DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Southern Food Causes Strokes?

A new study has linked the highly fatty and extremely sweet foods often consumed in the American South, such as sweet tea and fried chicken and fish, with southern states’ high rates of stroke. What do you think?

  • “I don’t know about all you other gals, but I, for one, find men with a slight Southern drawl and some facial paralysis incredibly charming.”

    Regina Ruddy
  • “You Yankees can call them ‘strokes’ or whatever you want. Down here they go by the name of ‘The Tasty Clots.’”

    Conrad Moser
    Box Maker
  • “Nah, they’re just stroking out because it all tastes so darn good.”

    Don Chao
    Upholstery Restorer