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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Space Jammed

The new film Space Jam—which teams up Michael Jordan with numerous Warner Brothers cartoon characters, and prominently features corporate giants like Nike and McDonald's—has been criticized by some for its overt commerciality. What do you think of the movie?
  • "Space Jam? Bah! I prefer more enlightened, intellectual fare. That's why I plan to see the new Roman Polanski film, Night and the Archbishop, featuring Chilly Willy."

    Caroline Murphy Lawyer
  • "Bugs Bunny is a priceless piece of Americana. That's why when Space Jam premieres, I'll be the first in line—burning myself alive Buddhist-style in front of the theater."

    Gerald Boucher Numerologist
  • "I hope now I'll finally be able to find Chicago Bulls or Warner Brothers merchandise.

    Otto Richards Chimney Sweep
  • "I hear there's this one part in the movie where somebody gets bonked in the head."

    Charles Odomes Orthodontist
  • "I can't wait to see Daffy and Taz on the big screen again. Bugs, I could do without, since he once sodomized me behind the log flume at Six Flags. He's much, much taller in person, you know."

    Stephen Frey Systems Analyst
  • "See Space Jam in the theaters? No thanks. I'll wait to see it the way it was meant to be seen—on network TV, surrounded by commercials."

    Marianne Hustings Guidance Counselor

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