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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.
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Space Shuttle Discovery Moves To D.C.

On its final flight, the Space Shuttle Discovery left Florida for Washington, where it will be part of the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum. What do you think?

  • "Don’t they have enough rockets stuffed into that place? How about throwing a bone to Muncie’s scrappy new Outer Space Fun Center?"

    Walter Vere-Jones Knit-Goods Washer
  • "Aw, nuts. This is going to rekindle my kid's love of learning all over again."

    Corinne Hammon Order Caller
  • "Why didn't they just land it in the moon's museum? What do you mean there's no museum on the moon? Dear God. That place must be full of savages."

    Sean Griggs Machine Sprayer

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