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Space Shuttle Discovery Moves To D.C.

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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Space Shuttle Discovery Moves To D.C.

On its final flight, the Space Shuttle Discovery left Florida for Washington, where it will be part of the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum. What do you think?

  • "Don’t they have enough rockets stuffed into that place? How about throwing a bone to Muncie’s scrappy new Outer Space Fun Center?"

    Walter Vere-Jones Knit-Goods Washer
  • "Aw, nuts. This is going to rekindle my kid's love of learning all over again."

    Corinne Hammon Order Caller
  • "Why didn't they just land it in the moon's museum? What do you mean there's no museum on the moon? Dear God. That place must be full of savages."

    Sean Griggs Machine Sprayer

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