adBlockCheck

Recent News

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
End Of Section
  • More News

Space Station Supply Rocket Crashes

A Russian rocket carrying nearly 3 tons of supplies for the International Space Station crashed five minutes after takeoff, an accident expected to delay the return of astronauts to Earth. What do you think?

  • “Why are they looking to us Earthlings to save them? They’re the ones who left.”

    Kate Jameson Systems Analyst
  • "See, I would have launched the snacks and clothes in an initial light rocket, in order to make room in the second rocket for the heavy space couches."

    Carl Leeson Unemployed
  • "So, you’re saying there’s a chance they’ll resort to space cannibalism? And they have webcams up there, right?"

    Arthur Tamm Gluer
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close