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Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
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Spam A Global Warming Issue

According to security technology company McAfee, the amount of energy used to produce, send, and filter spam each year creates as much greenhouse gas as 3.1 million cars. What do you think?
  • "It's a small price to pay. I like that someone, somewhere, is interested in me."

    Amy Oliver Data Base Administrator
  • “That's terrible. I’m going to unsubscribe from spam immediately."

    Bob Dolak Systems Analyst
  • "I guess now would be a bad time to admit that I check my e-mail while doing doughnuts in a Hummer."

    Travis Laskaris Activities Director

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