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Kids Excited Mom Learning To Swear

PESHTIGO, WI—After a lifetime of assiduously avoiding the use of foul language, Helen Chernak, 59, is finally learning to swear, her delighted offspring reported Monday.

Parents Of Crying Child Must Not Be Any Good

WOODBURY, MN—Noting how the pair’s failure to promptly resolve the situation was a clear indication of their inability to raise or care for another human being, sources confirmed Friday that the parents of a crying infant must not be any good.

A Look At The Class Of 2020

This year’s incoming college freshmen will comprise the graduating class of 2020, with the majority of them born in 1998. Here are some facts and figures about these students and their worldview:

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run
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Spanking Doesn't Work

A study published in the Canadian Medical Association Journal analyzed two decades of research and found that children who were punished physically became more aggressive over time, while those who weren't became less aggressive. What do you think?

  • "In fairness, those kids who were punished physically were probably bigger punks to begin with."

    Jason Conn Contact-Lens Molder
  • "Locking them in the basement is no way to go, either. Later they won't go down there to help organize shit."

    Carlos Post Lightout Examiner
  • "I saw a disturbing example of this very thing just last night at the bar. Two guys got into a disagreement, and the more aggressive one pulled the other one over his knee and spanked him."

    Jessica South Wort Extractor

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