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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Species Of Big-Nosed Dinosaur Unearthed In Utah

Paleontologists have discovered a previously unknown species of dinosaur called Nasutoceratops, a name that translates to “large-nosed horned face,” which lived during the Cretaceous period and had a distinctive oversize nose and large horns. What do you think?

  • “We’ve been waiting forever for a new type of dinosaur, and this is what they come up with?”

    Sunny Eales Grain Roaster
  • “Oh God, the kids at school always used to call me Nasutoceratops, but I never knew what it meant.”

    Laird Sill Statistician
  • “The Cretaceous period? Man, that brings me back.”

    Todd Dutra Bench Inspector
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