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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
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Spicy Chips, Snack Foods Sending Kids To ER

Doctors across the country are reporting increases in the number of children arriving at emergency rooms with painfully inflamed stomachs after consuming chips and other snack foods with extremely spicy flavorings, such as Flamin’ Hot Cheetos. What do you think?

  • “Spicy chips are, and have always been, a tough man’s food.”

    Miguel Orosco Moccasin Sewer
  • “My son’s okay with hot stuff, but he can’t have dairy, peanuts, shellfish, wheat, or eggs. He can eat fish, but he hates it.”

    Lauren Duboc Silverware Salesperson
  • “It’s the price you pay for the lifestyle.”

    Jonas Simmons Hull Builder

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