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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Spider Invasion Leads To Mazda Recall

Japanese automaker Mazda announced this week that it’s recalling 52,000 cars that may have been invaded by the yellow sac spider, a species that’s attracted to gasoline and weaves webs inside gas tanks. What do you think?

  • “It’s a small trade-off for being able to drive a Mazda.”

    Kevin Gallant Furnace Inspector
  • “That’s why I’ll always take a good, honest American car filled with good, honest American spiders.”

    Megan Liuzzo Camera Lens Cleaner
  • “It’s nice to have company on long drives.”

    Jeremy Friar Repair Technician
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