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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

God Sick Of New Angel’s Annoying Fucking Voice

THE HEAVENS—Calling the sound a “cross between a train whistle and a dying goat,” God, Our Lord And Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was already sick of a new angel’s “incredibly fucking annoying voice.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.
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Spike Lee Tweets Wrong George Zimmerman's Address

After a Twitter user posted the wrong address for Treyvon Martin’s killer, filmmaker Spike Lee unwittingly retweeted the error, which led to an elderly couple in Florida receiving death threats and having to flee their home. What do you think?

  • "I really hope this doesn't sour people on Twitter-based mob justice."

    Tanya Schwartz Systems Analyst
  • "See, this is exactly why I don't discover how to use tweeting."

    Stephen Elfman Sand-Mill Grinder
  • “I got him back—just tweeted Spike Jonze’s address.”

    Kevin Rose Open-Pit Quarry Supervisor
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