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Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick

SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—Immediately realizing the genesis of the fever and sore throat that left him feeling like shit, 30-year-old local man Edward Mosley told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which asshole got him sick.

How Gerrymandering Works

The Supreme Court is considering a case regarding the partisan gerrymandering of districts in Wisconsin, which could change the way maps are drawn across the country. Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.
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Sponsors Drop Trump-Referencing ‘Julius Caesar’

Multiple sponsors have dropped their support for the Shakespeare in the Park production of “Julius Caesar,” which depicts Caesar as a Trump-like businessman. What do you think?

  • “People need to learn there are consequences when you subject the president to vague allegorical criticism.”

    Kimberly Rhodus Tire Gouger
  • “Honestly, it’s hard not to see Trump in the figure of one of history’s greatest statesmen and Latin prose stylists.”

    Evan Buhler Beam Straightener
  • “That part about judgment having fled to brutish beasts was a real low blow.”

    Tim Kantor Bench Sanitizer

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