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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.

A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:
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Spy Satellite Going To Crash

An American spy satellite launched in 2006 has lost power and expected to fall to Earth in late February or early March. What do you think?
  • "Get your cameras out. If my calculations are correct, the impact will be at least a 7.4 on the Bruckheimer scale."

    Al Barber Systems Analyst
  • "Just like the government, always trying to find a way to get their spy satellites in our business."

    Rachel Mays Department Store Manager
  • "I never knew there would be consequences to mankind's insatiable thirst for knowledge."

    Sean Monnahagn Security Guard
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