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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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St. Louis Rated Most Dangerous City

A study of crime statistics showed that, with 2,070.1 violent crimes per 100,000 residents, St. Louis was the most violent city in the United States in 2009. What do you think?

  • "Well, it is such a depressing, pessimistic city, what with that gigantic frown monument they have there."

    Jenn Ashley Assembler
  • "I believe it. I kill people in St. Louis all the time."

    Jeff Ouimet Systems Analyst
  • "Are you serious? But I was just there last summer, and it was fine! The zoo smelled a little too much, and the river was muddy, and my friend was shot, but everyone I met was very nice!"

    Jerry Puleo Compliance Officer

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